By Tim Sweeney
“I love your lumps, your curves, and bumps,
Your lovely shape- so nice and plump,
In my experience, I have found
The best potatoes are not just round,
They have hips and dips and dirt stains too,
Now you know what I like, how ‘bout you?”
She looked at him and shook her head-
“You’d turn a Russett Burbank red,
I like a spud who doesn’t just
Stare upon my bursting bust,
And so the stud that I will prize
Can look a tater in her eyes!”
Tim Sweeney is the Humble Spud’s most prominent potato poet.