By Zach Schiralli
It’s ponderously late. He knows in time sleep will take him, but for now he lies in
limbo. Awake, but accomplishing no lively purpose. Admittedly he knows this will be a
time of little remembrance. Upon awakening on the morrow none of what has raced
through his head now will matter, lest it even be recalled. A period in which his mind
will wander to harsh claims, bad memories, promises to change, and perhaps
promises not to. All encompassed in what will now be a two hour state of fugue
being that leaves only unanswered inquiries. This time will be for him what it is for
many; a final node of reflection on personal struggle and pain. The realization of denial
is apparent in his being now. It releases a tide of emotion that had been left unfelt
in his heart. Feelings that had created a depression there slowly eating at his
motivation and willingness to live. What this means for him is that this time of
seemingly only pain and self-destruction is, in truth, a time of acquiescence with his
deeply ingrained adverse thoughts. It is his moment to come to terms with the past,
to keep these memories from haunting him further. Now, at two thirty a.m. is the
conclusion to a long journey, to a long struggle in his life. One that had begun a long
time ago, and had since destroyed him from the inside out. Yet, here he learns that
a beginning is only but a means to an end. The end of the conflict is here as sleep
finally overcomes his weary eyes and washes away his fresh mental footprints with
the tides of rest.
I was born and raised in Enfield Connecticut, but never really felt at home there. I spent 4 years in the Suffield FFA chapter exploring the state and country by competing in various career development events. I went to the National FFA convention twice as a competitor in Louisville, Kentucky. I volunteered at the Edmund Niles Huyck preserve for three summers and helped research the natural world. In my free time I like to build computers, write, play video games and hike.